Truth Seeking

It's not for the faint of heart.

Let’s just clarify something right out of the gate. Not everyone is into truth-seeking and that’s just fine. I actually envy people who are contented. Life must be so simple and satisfying without this inner burning quest to know stuff, and without the devastation that comes from finding out about stuff you wish you didn’t find out about.

No actually, I need to rephrase that. It’s not that I wish I didn’t find out about unsavory stuff; it’s that I wish it wasn’t so or didn’t exist.

Truth-seeking is an ongoing endeavor; the truth itself is mighty elusive, so the act of truth-seeking as a process becomes more important.

I’ve learned a LOT over the last few years. I don’t claim to have all the answers or even a majority of them. I tend to continually have more questions than answers, truth be told. But one thing I’ve learned about that I can share with great certainty is that the majority of people do not want to know the truth.

Back in 2020 when the shit hit the fan, I naively began openly discussing things on Facebook. I can hear you laughing right now! Well, I had this unrealistic insistence that whatever I posted on “my page” was my domain, sort of like a cyber version of my house, and that people would naturally see it the way I saw it and respectfully ignore or disagree with whatever was being said. I know, it’s ridiculous. It led to a series of incidents that are best described as the typed-word equivalent of drive-by shootings, conducted by people I previously assumed to be fine upstanding citizens.

True story: I had a group of “friends” and another group of bio-family members trying to stage interventions (!) because they were very “concerned” with what I was posting. Long story made short: I had to unfriend and block a shit-ton of peeps who proved themselves incapable of calm, rational, non-condescending conversation. I’ve stopped using Facebook for the most part, for a number of reasons.

Most people are not genuinely interested in truth, even if they claim to be. What they really want is not what they say they want, because behavior generally stems from the much larger un/subconscious mind, and not the smaller conscious-mind intentions. What truly motivates them is simply to feel better. They seek relief from the constant haranguing of the negative ego. For many folks, that amounts to intellectual superiority.

If one is driven (ruthlessly) by an ego-intellect, truth-seeking is really a search for ideas that reinforce one’s pre-existing beliefs. Those beliefs run the gamut. There are beliefs about everything from “which table salt is better” to “who runs the world.” But it’s the fundamental core beliefs—the ones that begin with “I am”—that cause all the trouble. “I am smart” is just as problematic as “I am stupid.” To the ego that maintains these beliefs, any outsider challenge is essentially a life-and-death struggle.

Let me make this more relatable. If a new piece of information pops onto the scene that contradicts the norm, the people wielding that “I am smart” belief would attack it because, if they’re smart, they would have already known about this new thing and they would not have fallen for the old idea that is now being contradicted. So in order to stay “safe” and feel better (temporarily), they release the attack dogs to get rid of that pesky new piece of information. Never mind whether or not it might be truthful; there’s no time for that!

Sigh. Yes, truth seeking can seem lonely at times.

My inner circle of friends has shrunk considerably. But then again, was it ever really that “inner”? Not really, when I look at it honestly. These were peeps I’d had some fun shared experiences with in “real life,” mostly centered on creative community projects and other good clean fun. Philosophical allies they were not, and 2020 parted the seas rather efficiently. And it taught me important lessons about not spending time or expending energy with ego-dominant persons any longer. Hallelujah!

Sure, I often wish I could return to the innocence of romping and co-creating art with those peeps. What stops me? Well, it’s a stubbornness in me that doesn’t readily let go. Once someone misbehaves badly, and shows me that they have no awareness of that behavior, I tend to move on. I have no obligations to maintain dysfunctional relationships. I may choose to keep a friendship going, but I flatly refuse any sense of obligation. My main obligation is to respect and take care of myself. Interestingly, fast forward to 2023 and I am attracting a new set of creative playmates into my world. Hey, life goes on, turns out. BUT—and this is important—I’m not harboring any resentment or unlovingness within me toward these people! I just don’t want to subject myself to less-than-fun interactions or situations where I have to self-censor.

But… back to the story, set in circa 2020. Naturally, being a social creature, I sought out cohorts. I didn’t necessarily want people who agreed with me about anything other than how to politely behave. I’m perfectly happy to be wrong and I’m always open to new information. The rule is, go ahead and disagree, just don’t be an asshole about it! The ego is, of course, the root cause of all assaholic behavior. We know this, but it’s just not very fun.

Truth-seeking is an ongoing endeavor; the truth itself is mighty elusive, so the act of truth-seeking as a process becomes more important. I wanted friends who were on the same wavelength, taking in new information, discussing it rationally and objectively—ideally with a sense of humor and levity about it all.

“Seriousness is a disease of the ego.”

—Stuart Wilde

I did find them. And it was fun and exciting for almost 2 years. I got into using Telegram and other alternative social media to get beyond the mainstream propaganda. I was hungry for “truth” and so life presented the buffet of “truth.”

As time went by, I realized that there exists an extensive array of phony “truth” accounts and channels of all kinds. This is where my not-clinging-to-beliefs mode of operation comes in handy. Once I see that some “truth” purveyor is phony, I tend to drop them like a hot potato! Unless, of course, there’s some value in paying attention to what they’re saying. It can be interesting to stay tuned in to a wide variety of media outlets, even mainstream news (if you can stomach it) to get a more well-rounded picture of what’s being put out there.

The same cycle reoccurred, however, as with my former defend-mainstream-ideas-to-the-death peeps on Facebook. I realized that many of my fellow “truth-seekers” had stopped being objective. They had questioned things enough to sense that mainstream media was a lot of bullshit, and they gravitated to alternative media, but stopped engaging their critical thinking faculties at a certain point. It’s pretty wild to see. They broke out of one psy-op cage and stepped right into another.

When an alternative news media source, which appeared to initially offer raw truth and authenticity, changed to a mixture of truth and propaganda (which is a common tactic for all cults, by the way), why did these folks ignore the red flags? Because they had already rubber-stamped that person or news source as bonafide. They pulled up the wagon wheels and said “we’re here.”

[Side note: this phenomenon kind of reminds me of the peeps who become staunch atheists after being exposed to religion. They can smell the bullshit emanating from Churchianity BUT they don’t keep going and looking around at what might lie beyond physicality. They stop at a convenient parking lot called “materialism” or “nihilism” instead. It’s not a lonely unstable existence like truth lily-pad hopping is. It’s a nonstop intellectual tailgate party!]

I understand why this happens and I don’t blame them. They seek comfort. Everyone just wants to feel better.

As for the truther-peeps, it’s easy to get hooked on “hopium” messages that say “everything is going to turn around magically!” Some people get addicted to the opposite—the black pill of “everything sucks, all the time, and all hope is lost.” Probably the truth lies at neither extreme. But hey, this Earth Game is a tough gig for our consciousness, so whatever gets you through the (dark) night (of the soul), by all means, have at it brothers and sisters.

There is no rest for the weary truth seeker, unfortunately. One revelation only begets more questions (if not immediately, then it will before too long). Conflicting information is rampant and must be weighed against all other information and stakeholder analysis. It is anything but comfortable. If one really wants to know truth, then no source of information can ever be deified or permanently approved. After all, how many upstanding organizations have we seen infiltrated by evil-doing? (And don’t you think that is the very reason why 501c3 non-profit organizations must have a Board of Directors, per IRS rules? It’s set up to be infiltrated as needed).

In seeking out the truth about life, there can be no loyalty to messengers; only the objective assessment of messages.

But wait… if everyone just wants to feel better, how do truth-seekers feel better? We are some odd birds, I suppose. I would rather know truth than be snookered by falseness. It keeps me restless, but I can’t go back. There is no blue pill to erase the knowing of unsavory things, unfortunately. Would I take it if that pill was available? Not if it meant getting “stuck” in the matrix indefinitely (or perhaps the human reincarnational cycle, which I will be writing more about on this blog). I maintain that there is a much larger reality beyond this 3D Earth Life system (because I’ve experienced it directly, pragmatically), so when I keep that bigger picture in mind, I feel better.

TRUTH HURTS.

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE.

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION.

All of these sayings are true, and embracing paradox is a key tool in navigating the truth-seeking process.

I hope you have found some solace or value in reading this post.