Evolution of the Woo
Evolution of the Woo
My personal back story for those who are interested
Freedom to Change
Or… is the Law of Attraction just a bunch of BS?
I once was a full-on promulgator of woo-woo.* Before we dive in to this story, I just want to say that I’m fully aware that many people go through this same line of questioning, of embracing and denouncing beliefs, of wondering about the very existential nature of humanity. I am not alone or special in any of this! I’m sharing this stuff because it may help someone, or you might be curious. And because it’s good for me to keep my writing muscles from atrophying. So, thanks for being here.
[*By “woo-woo” I am affectionately referring to that which is metaphysical, spiritual, paranormal, supernatural, ethereal and generally beyond the 5-sense limits of physical reality. To me, it’s the stuff that makes life interesting. Especially the part about us being infinite powerful beings with creator energy. There is zero doubt in my mind that we are much more than just physically-based beings with bodies and personalities in a 3D matrix.]
Well… not entirely full-on. In those days I retained a skeptical streak, an analytical part of me that was able to remain detached and objective. There was a huge variety of woo-woo adventures which I wrote about in the humorous memoir, What I Did On My Midlife Crisis Vacation. Magic, miracles, and epiphanies happened regularly. But there were phonies and cultists and egotists (oh my!) as well. My spiritual seeker era was both fascinating and comical.
Despite some questionable messengers, I found that much of that “woo-woo” was conceptually accurate about life.
Like most people (maybe you?) who find themselves drawn to metaphysics, I also experienced long periods of “falling off the wagon” or sometimes diving headlong off the wagon—renouncing it all as utter bullshit, because life did not seem to support the woo-woo theories. I wanted to manifest things, and tried so hard via all manner of self-improvement techniques, and yet life was stubbornly NOT forthcoming with the goods. Does that sound familiar?
It’s a weird conundrum because at the same time, we KNOW for a fact that we have deliberately manifested stuff in the past, yes? If our minds are engrossed in negativity, we may not recall, but there is some personal evidence, even if it was something minor or trivial that was manifested. And there’s the matter of other people’s evidence (which is always a good time to don your critical thinking cap for discernment).
It seems that certain things manifest more readily than other things, and/or manifest more readily at different junctures in our lives. There are times when we don’t feel love-and-light swooshing around us from the universe, but rather, a seemingly unending barrage of hardship. What, then, do we conclude about life and metaphysics and the universe?
[I just want to pause here and say to you that whatever phase you’re in, whether it feels surfing, drowning, or waiting on the shoreline, I can relate. I get you.]
When faced with adversity and the reality that THIS TIME you cannot manifest whatever you want, most people will take one or more of these routes:
Abandon the whole concept of metaphysical free will and either…
Immerse into the so-called “real world” and deal with shit, probably with a considerable amount of bitterness, resentment or despair
Turn to some form of escapism for relief, which could be substances, digital/online stuff, or anything that helps deflect the suffering
Dig their heels in deeper into their manifesting belief system of choice, and keep finding those “better feeling thoughts” or trying newer better manifesting techniques.
Stay on board with the concept of conscious manifesting but try to find out what the caveats or loopholes are so you can get this show on the road.
Likely, you’ve experienced all of the above.
I did #2 for a while until my inner hopium supply dwindled. Then I went to 1 a) with a little bit of 1 b) sprinkled in there. And after a few years, I’m looking at #3, from a position 1 a) that is much lighter on the bitterness scale.
I went through a whole gamut of experiences and perspectives in the decade that followed after writing that first book. Additional books came through me during the early years. The basic metaphysical tenets seemed inherently true at the time, or else I never would have published them. And probably they ARE true…BUT with some big-ass caveats desperately needed.
What caveats, you ask?
Well clearly it is NOT true that anyone can manifest anything they want at any time. The results of an ongoing planetary experiment called Life on Planet Earth have informed us of this.
The big mystery is why it can happen sometimes and not other times, for some people but not others. Inquiring minds want to know.
The caveats are like the fine print in a contract. It’s that boring stuff we never read whenever we sign up for anything online; we just gloss over it and check the box that says “I agree” so we can move on. In metaphysical teachings, often the caveats are written in invisible ink. And we like it that way. We don’t want some pesky little truths interfering with our bold optimism, now do we?
2-Caveat Diamond
CAVEAT #1
Life has phases and cycles, some of which are characterized by ease and flow, and others by stuggle and fuckery. And hybrid phases abound with everything in between.
CAVEAT #2
What if there is such a thing as a soul’s plan? What if we (WE, the big we, whatever that is…the soul or higher self or god self) willingly take on karmic experiences, whether to learn stuff or balance out our experience with other people?
What if we, as human forms of consciousness, don’t actually have free will to the extent assumed or desired? Are we pawns of our own souls, or of fate or destiny or…something or someone else? Holy shit. How can anything be known with utter certainty?!
Back in the day, when I was drinking the Law of Attraction Kool-Aid, I believed—okay now this is pure ironic comedy, written by life itself—I believed that beliefs were the key. That if you could just re-shape the contents of your subconscious mind, then everything could change and conform to the desires of your conscious mind.
And maybe that is actually true, and I just didn’t try hard enough or use the right methods? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I became burned out on all the trying and not succeeding. As Byron Katie says, “arguing with reality hurts.”
Certainly it is true to an extent, because I’ve seen people change their patterns by seeing something within themselves clearly for the first time. The mind is a mystery and holds many layers of experience, probably including other lifetimes. Spelunking through your own consciousness usually yields important personal growth results. But does it catalyze seemingly magic huge unlikely and instantaneous manifestations. Not so much. That’s not to say it’s not useful to examine your beliefs—of course it is. I’m just saying that it still seems like you cannot just manifest anything anytime you like.
In the interest of inner peace I have, for the most part, put aside the ravenous need to KNOW what is unknowable, and instead adopted strategies for what to DO in order to cope with this 3D reality I find myself in every morning when I wake up… some days with a heavy sigh, and other days with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Dealing with Reality
Well I have to say, I haven’t totally given up on that need to know. It seems my mind will not tolerate fasting for long. BUT I’ve turned in different directions, and in a very LIGHT way.
Astrology has been in my toolbox now for 4 decades (wow, I got old). It’s like an old friend I can always turn to. It has a way of explaining things, no matter what. It describes the ups and downs of the Earth rollercoaster and tells me when to expect them. And because it’s tailored to my (or your) individual chart, it makes more sense than a one-size-fits-all philosophy such as caveat-less Law of Attraction teachings. In fact, it fits Caveat #1 to a tee.
Studying astrology transits and progressions and all that good stuff allows me to KNOW that whatever phases I’m in is just that, a phase. And all phases eventually yield to the next phase. It’s not forever. Everything changes. Which can be hard to know when you’re in the middle of that dark night of the soul phase and everything looks bleak and dark. (If you’re in there now, I’m sending you love because I know EXACTLY how it feels… hopefully you can feel the incoming love energy).
See, I’m still woo-woo in that way. I KNOW that energy is everywhere and everything and that we are energy and thoughts and emotions are energy and that we can use and send energy and that it really does matter.
Yet, there are energetic forces beyond the conscious mind. When you keep bumping up against a wall, it’s time to re-orient yourself and choose another tack. Action may be required in subtle or copious amounts. And astrology helps me to understand all this and to chart the best course, given that these unwanted limitations—or, at times, windows of gleeful opportunity—have for whatever cosmic reason descended upon me at any given juncture.
For example, when there’s a big Saturn phase, I have to work hard. Actually doing stuff. Which is not part of my former Law of Attraction outlook. That belief system involved slacker manifesting, and only taking joyful inspired action. Well, that shit only works out when you’re in a Jupiter phase, turns out. Or you know… there are always lots of exceptions and possibilities. I’m just giving some very general examples here.
I think my life was very Jupiterian and Neptunian for a while in the years leading up to my immersion in woo-woo. It was all I knew, so life seemed to confirm the beliefs I was embracing. BUT in the decade that followed, Saturnian and Plutonian energies have been kicking my ass right off that high horse. I know it’s ultimately good, to humble the ego and all. When the thrashings occur, of course it’s difficult to adopt such an attitude. That perspective only comes with time.
Need some fresh perspective on your life, your relationships, your challenges, your purpose? Talk to someone who’s supportive and caring, non-judgmental, and who guides you to an expanded point of view with practical action steps!
Life Purpose?
This is one of those eternal mysteries that many of us ponder. Why are we here incarnate? I thought I had it all figured out…until I started really peering into the shadow side of life on Planet Earth.
Of course there are many theories and angles and methods on this. Some say we come for the sheer experience, and that may be the case, even if we as astral travelers have some serious buyer’s remorse.
Some say we keep reincarnating because of karma. And of course, we could get involved in a long conversation about what karma is or isn’t.
And then there is the idea that reincarnation is a trap, keeping our energy circulating in this “system” for nefarious reasons.
It’s another unknowable. So as curious as I am—and I have my theories about it—I can’t fully KNOW the answer. What I can do is to ask myself what is the best course of action, and astrology helps with that too.
Maybe our life purpose is experience or learning, but astrology describes our LIFE THEMES. By looking at the north and south nodes (rahu and ketu), for example, and a few other key indicators, I can at least see the patterns of behavior in my life that work better than others. It seems that we can manifest more readily that which is “part of the plan” vs that which is not. And while “the plan” is a nebulous thing, at least the nebulae are visible through the lens of astrology: “do it this way, and no one gets hurt.” Or… something like that.
In my case, I have a north node in Taurus and south node in Scorpio, so part of that theme involves no longer expecting to snap my fingers and have things magically appear. It turns out I have to work for it (yikes). Now, who or what decided that this theme was the way to go for my (current) sojourn on this planet, I really don’t know, but I would like to have some words or perhaps fisticuffs with that responsible party!
All comedic bitterness aside, I am learning to go with the flow of that theme and find enjoyment and guidance that is slowly putting the wheels into motion. I am recovering from the fallout of my misappropriation of energies while drinking that ol’ Kool-Aid. And I’m alive to tell you about it. Of course I never told you much about the specifics of what I was wanting to manifest, because I think the scenario applies to most anything. In my case it has to do with career and finances.
I have done okay in the realm of love… which brings me to the final topic in this long-ass diatribe of a post.
Regrets and Repositionings
I did publish a bunch of books related to the Law of Attraction. I actually have not read them in a very long time, so I don’t know to what extent any caveats are included.
I’ve anguished a bit over whether or not to yank them off the shelves of ebook purveyors. Ultimately I took one of them down and left the rest up, and would like to tell you why.
Just because I myself have experienced negativity around those teachings, it doesn’t mean they don’t serve a constructive purpose. Other people who are in other phases of their lives—like my Jupiterian phase—may do very well with the information. Or, perhaps they will arrive at similar perspectives as me, and it’s all part of that arrival somehow.
The very first book is still my favorite, because it’s 100% memoir and chock full of spiritual comedy. I think the world can use as much humor as it can possibly get its hands on these days.
The second book was “How I Met the Man of My Dreams: a Guide to MANifesting Yours.” It’s a hybrid genre, part memoir and part self-help. It’s got lots of comedy too, so take the self-help sections with a grain of salt and enjoy the story. I’m still married to that guy 12 years later as I write this, by the way. He’s a phenomenal human being.
It’s interesting though, how the hybrid genre happened. I could have continued with memoir and spiritual comedy, which is actually my true love in writing. I would love to have those adventures turned into a film or a series at some point (kinda like Eat Pray Love but much wackier and funnier). How did that shift occur, making me into some sort of manifesting authority?!
I recall meeting Marc Allen, the publisher, author and friend of the late Shakti Gawain (she wrote that little book “Creative Visualization” which I acquired in the ‘80s as a teenager… an early foray into the woo for me). He said that he sees a pattern with new authors: that in the beginning they write for themselves, then they start to write for others and he likes to see that second book.
Now I’m not saying that Marc Allen is in any way responsible for my decisions. I’m just saying that he elucidated the popular thinking about these book genres: that memoir is selfish or self-indulgent, and that self-help is altruistic. I COULD NOT DISAGREE MORE!
Memoir may be self-indulgent, because in doing it you are devoting time and resources to the telling or your own story. But that is YOUR story, and the reader can do with it what they will. I believe in personal responsibility, and I know that is not very popular on this planet right now.
Self-help may seem altruistic, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It’s easy to become authoritative, and depending on the level of consciousness of the author, predatory. People seeking self-help material are usually in need, so they are vulnerable to manipulation. What if that information in the self-help book isn’t true? What if there are big-ass caveats not being conveyed to the reader? How altruistic is that?
What if the reader is going through a phase (or heck, an entire lifetime) that simply will not allow for the desired manifestation, but she doesn’t know about the phase? And what if the book’s author is telling her if only she would do this or that, she too could have that desired thing manifest in her life? How unethical is it to be a hopium dealer?
I certainly never wanted to dispense hopium. I was sincere in my optimism. But seeing things differently, I removed a book that was steeped in it. Interestingly, that book was one that started out as a comedy but I allowed someone to influence me in reshaping it.
As for the other books, I think they still have merit. One is called “Resistance is Feudal” which covers practical ways to be less reactive in everyday life. I still find this beneficial. It doesn’t promise any particular manifestations, but it implies that positive shifts in experience are likely. I do find this to be true. But I have wrestled with pulling this book too, because I don’t want to gloss over the importance of feeling our feelings, letting them flow and getting epiphanies from them. It’s a personal thing, whether or not a book like that is appealing or beneficial to someone.
Another book, actually the last one I wrote during that era, is called “Beyond Forgiveness.” This was the least popular book I published, LOL! Maybe because I stopped actively promoting, but just as likely because let’s face it, the human ego does not like to forgive. Self-help books are popular because the ego wants things and wants to know how to get the goods. I oughta know, because I’m human and have an ego too. We all have these pesky things. There’s a whole heckuva lot to say about egos, and maybe I’ll get to finishing that book one day.
Basically, I try to think of the books as these sort of “children” that I birthed. They are out there in the world, living their lives. They’re not perfect, but they have their bright parts. Some are shinier than others, but for the most part, I will let them just BE, with the intention that they give benefit in some way to anyone who finds one of them on their path.
Phony New Age Hooey
Well, now that I’ve got your attention with that sub-headline, I want to call attention to the part where certain channeled “teachers” I used to get a lot of enjoyment and inspiration out of have, in recent years, shown themselves to be shills for the dark side. For example, have you seen the clip of Esther Hicks channeled “Abraham” who tells the viewers/listeners that a bunch of dead doctors are there and they really want you to take a certain injectable medical product? Yikes. I saw this clip back in 2021 and immediately I knew the channel was corrupt.
Now, whether that channel was always “evil” or suddenly become “hijacked” is an interesting discussion for another day. But either way, it is certainly corrupt as of this recording. An important part of discernment for “spiritual seekers” is being willing to pivot away from a teacher or teachings when it’s shown to have been up to no good. We cannot rubber stamp ANY teacher or teachings as “always right and light and good” and let down our guard. Sorry about that, but it’s true. Personally I feel rather liberated in having realized it, and not all sad or upset about it. I had a blast on those Abraham-Hicks cruises years ago! But I will NOT listen to another word coming out of that woman’s mouth now.
Bashar, channeled by Darryl Anka, did a similar thing back in 2020 or 2021, promoting the globalist healthy tyranny agenda. Another one bites the dust! I quickly gave up any nostalgia or attachment I might have had to the information he had provided. It was OVER in a red hot minute. In fact, I really question ANY channeled materials these days, because clearly channels are so corruptible that even the long time channel himself or herself is either snookered or compromised.
Sheesh. Is nothing sacred, you might be asking? Well, nothing can be taken for granted. What’s sacred is YOU… your consciousness and your own inner compass. That’s the best thing you have and I recommend getting cozier with it. Meanwhile, even though these channelers or teachers are shown to be corrupt, it does not actually mean that all of the information they’ve provided is bunk!
In fact, I’ve discovered that most cults—and we might as well look at Abraham-Hicks as a sort of cult because there have always been cultish people acting that way—most cults take their information from legit sources and most of it is good stuff. Even L. Ron Hubbard incorporated a lot of helpful psychology content into his lucrative Scientology cult (then forbade his followers to use psychologists or psychology material, probably so they wouldn’t discover his plaguerism!)
Well, it’s all part of the “Pitching the Woo” adventures. At times, “pitching” as in promoting, and at other times, “pitching” as in tossing it by the wayside. It’s always case by case, baby step by step, avoiding big sweeping proclamations if they’re not warranted. I do proclaim that Abraham-Hicks is corrupt, but I don’t know the exact nature of that corruption. I only know that the information “they” purvey that is helpful and true can be obtained elsewhere if one prefers. I really hope that if you are reading this and you followed their advice to get injected, that you are healthy and well (and there are alternative health protocols out there to help with health challenges too), such as this one shared by that wacky but interesting fella, Clif High:
Personal Mentoring
For many years, I’ve been doing 1-on-1 personal Mentoring work with people. Now you might be asking, “why on earth would I want to be mentored by someone who isn’t even sure if her own teachings are accurate, and who admits to having a metaphysical midlife crisis??” Excellent question, my friend! And the answer is: you may not. But I will tell you why some people do choose to work with me.
Intuition guides me strongly to help others. We can’t always see our own blindspots and personal confusion, and yet we can be clear channels for someone else. This is why coaches have coaches.
I specialize in emotional intelligence, particular with regard to relationships. I will listen to you and see what’s going on, and I will help you break free of old stories and your ego’s tyranny. That is love!
As a mentor, I offer helpful guidance for practical action. Many life coaches and most therapists will never do this; they merely listen to you. I’m like a big sister or mother figure that you always wanted, without the family dysfunction.
You can talk to me about ANYTHING and receive non-judgmental loving support, and together we find a path through for you. If you’re going down rabbit holes, for instance, and feeling shocked and betrayed, let’s talk. I’ve explored a lot of rabbit holes myself.
If you are seeking a magic wand, then I would not be the mentor for you. If you are seeking fresh perspective and creative pro-active solutions that you are willing to enact for yourself, then let’s talk.
There is an energetic healing aspect to this mentoring work. Occasionally, I am intuitively guided to deliberately use an energy healing technique (I trained in tons of them), but most of the time it’s just something that happens automatically. It’s like the two of us are doing a quantum entanglement dance in the ethers, and we both feel it.
If you would like personal mentoring that incorporates astrology, then you can send me your birthdate (and if you know it, birth time and place) and I will look up your digits to inform the conversation.
